I stumbled upon this quote the other day, and you know how, when something really resonates with you, it sort of just stops you in your tracks completely? That's how seeing this quote was for me. 

"A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out." -- Walter Winchell

Friends come and go; some are meant to be in your lives for a period of time, then their purpose has been served. Some friends are meant to be lifelong friends, and stay with you, through every up and down, always. Some friends become a part of your life, leave for a while, and then come back. There are all sorts of friends in this life, and I think the thing I struggle with the most is understanding who falls into which category. I took a personality profile once, and it said that if I count someone as a friend, I have really opened my heart, made myself vulnerable, and said, "I trust you--and I don't trust a lot of people--so please don't let me down."

Now, of course, that is a dangerous position for me to put myself in. Many times, I've said that I'm one of those people who is "all or nothing" when it comes to my friends. Maybe I expect too much out of some people, and that is why some friends slowly fade out of my life. Even so, I know that I am who I am, and my expectations when it comes to friendships probably won't change too much, even if doing so would be easier on me emotionally, in the long run.  The same holds true with all relationships, really--romantic or otherwise. And with family--although your family is your family, and they'll always be a part of your lives, no matter what.

--

Life is weird. I don't even know how to describe how surreal the past 7 years of my life, since graduating from college, have been. The things that've happened that I couldn't have predicted, even if I'd've had a crystal ball. Life certainly does throw us some curve balls, doesn't it? This week has been incredibly emotional for me, and amidst all of my grieving for my unborn child, I happened across a note from my ex-husband. I was looking through a stack of recipes, and a note from him slipped out. He must've tucked it in there before we each split our belongings and sold the house we'd bought together, knowing that I'd find it someday. Who knew it'd be more than four years later? I had a dream about him and his family the night before, and that's why it was so surprising to all of a sudden see this note from him, materialized, in front of me, as if he wanted to finish our "conversation" and provide us both some closure. In my dream, I was assured how happy he is now--re-married and with children of his own--and how he understands now why the divorce was the best thing for both of us. I don't know for sure if this is how Matt's life turned out or not, but I sure hope so. I hope he's found that happiness we couldn't ever seem to find in each other.

-Em