This year, I've been trying something different. This year, I have made a conscious decision to choose my attitude. And, what I've decided is that...I choose happiness.

I have never been much for New Year's Resolutions...something about setting yourself up for self-defeat, then having to wade through the self-defeating inner-loathing that comes from not accomplishing any of those goals you set out for yourself. I'm tired of being so hard on myself, and I'm tired of feeling guilty for not quite being the person I'd like to be (or that others think I should be).

This year, my only real goal is to give myself a chance at happiness. Happiness, it turns out, doesn't necessarily come from all of a sudden having those things (I don't just mean material things) in life you so desperately want. Happiness comes from living a life of gratitude every. day. Happiness comes from surrounding yourself with the people and things (again, things has a broader definition) you love. Happiness comes from spending less time beating yourself up about what you didn't accomplish, what you struggle with, what is out of your control. Happiness comes from taking a little bit of time for yourself every day to take care of yourself physically and ponder these things, which keep us "in tune" mentally and emotionally...what you're grateful for, affirmations to yourself about what it is you want out of life, and praying for strength to continue on in this way.

I'm not going to be so naive as to say that I'm a new person all of a sudden, more optimistic than pessimistic...able to shrug off hardships, sweep them under the rug, then go dance a little jig.

But I am trying. I'm learning that happiness is not something that I'll all of a sudden achieve when the stars align, the gods smile, and I am deemed "worthy" to be granted my heart's desires.

Happiness is something I have to try at a little each day.

-Em