This weekend we've received some much-needed rain, which has also brought with it cool temperatures. As I sit in my big oversized chair next to the open window, I can hear the sound of rain falling being replaced by the chirps and calls of all sorts of birds--full of energy and refreshed after a break from the showers.

Yesterday, Drew and I went to our company picnic, held at Michigan's Adventure this year. We ventured out with our friends Becky and Abby. Both of us couples had originally planned not to go, feeling silly walking around a small-scale amusement park without any kids to make it novel or particularly fun. In retrospect, I'm glad we went...and we did actually have some fun. Becky and Abby have been helpful in getting the two of us out of the house these past few weeks--I guess their operation "Get Out and Do Things" is rubbing off on us? I hope.

Things are "fine" here. I guess that's the best way to describe it. I am finally feeling back to "normal" physically, which I'm very thankful for. I had no idea it would take me as long as it did. Just another one of those surprises, another learning experience to file away. Drew is recovering from a terrible cut across his thumb. At the end of July, he sliced through a tendon in his left hand, and knicked another, sharpening a kitchen knife. The cut was so deep he had to go to the ER and get stitches, and they referred him to a hand specialist in GR. The specialist said surgery was necessary, and he went through that early last week. He got his cast off Friday and was fitted with a special brace that he'll have to wear for several more weeks while the tendons heal. He starts physical therapy in a couple of weeks. We are both thankful that there wasn't more damage, and that it didn't happen to his right hand, but I know it's been difficult for Drew not being able to do as much. In some ways, I think his injury has helped me a bit, actually. As soon as it happened, I had to switch to concerned wife nursing the injured, and it helped me focus less on my own problems.

Besides the healing we've been doing, there really isn't a lot to report. I wish I could say I've been taking pictures, doing a ton of reading and writing, and focusing on other activities that keep me busy and from thinking too much. Instead, I spend a lot of time watching TV and spacing out. My thoughts so often take me away from reality, and there are many days when I still don't feel "all there." I have struggled with concentrating at work, too. Some days are better than others, though. Some days go by and I feel almost normal. Some days every moment seems like a struggle...I'll run into a person at work I haven't seen in several weeks and they'll give me that confused look--from face, down to belly, back to face, the silent question hanging between us in the air. I'll see all the women who were pregnant "with" me and still are, their bellies growing bigger every day. Those encounters are the most difficult for me, but I'm learning how to keep the tears bottled up a little better. I still rely on that tissue box next to my PC monitor at work more than I should, but usually I can play it off and say, "My allergies sure are bothering me today."

As I listen to the sounds of nature, happily cleansed, out my window and smell the wonderful aroma of Drew's pot roast in the oven, I feel closer to a fresh start. Perhaps I will be able to do more again soon, or at least be interested in the possibility, of starting out clean.

-Em