I've never been so happy to get my period as I was this morning. You're probably thinking, huh, that's weird, considering Drew and Em are in the midst of trying to conceive (TTC) right now. And you're half right there. Usually, if I happen to get my period on my own, which is, oh, almost never, I cry uncontrollably with the knowledge that we did not get pregnant yet again for this particular cycle. I say cycle, not month, because a cycle for me can be 35 days, 75 days, 100 days...it depends. I ovulate so irregularly that there is really no rhyme or reason as to when my body will decide to gear up and produce an actual egg.

I know you're just dying to know what our "stringent plan" is for the end of this year.  Yes, because this crap is sooo interesting to people who are either 1) not TTC, or 2) have no trouble trying to conceive without medical intervention.

I apologize, in advance, for a post that is most likely boring to all of my readers, but for some reason, it helps for me to write this all out, what we'll be trying to do, outside of my cycle calendar that I must keep.

The first step of our journey was to get me to have a period, since I haven't had once since August. That one was not actually much of a period, anyway, we almost wonder if it was just "one last hurrah" of the miscarriage from July. So, if you think about that, up until today, my latest cycle length was at about the 75 day mark. Is it easier to understand now why this waiting game is so hard for me? With cycles that last so long and very few opportunities in which to actually conceive, "bad news" that we receive is all that much harder to stomach, as the knowledge that we must wait an indefinite amount of time until the next opportunity always accompanies it.

Anyway, I was on ten days worth of progesterone, starting late last month, to get me to bleed. When I finished the pills last weekend, I thought my period would start right away (it always had in my past experiences on progesterone to induce a period--usually the day after I finished my last pill), so when it didn't within the first couple of days, I started to panic.

Better late than never... Now, the next step is to go to the lab tomorrow to get an estrogen test. Early next week, I start yet another maximum dosage of Clomid. After I'm done with the Clomid on days 5-9, my doctor will have me come into the office on CD13 for a transvaginal ultrasound that she will perform herself, to see if my follicles look as if they are preparing for ovulation as a result of the Clomid. If not, it is time to pull out the big guns, and start hormone injections of the Follicle Stimulating Hormone (FSH) variety. After the injections, we cross our fingers, hope, and pray that I ovulate, then either "try" naturally or help our chances by having an intrauterine insemination (IUI) performed (remember: apparently my body produces an antibody that kills Drew's sperm, so the likelihood of one of "his guys" meeting up with an egg of mine, after all that is required to even get an egg out of me in the first place, is not so great).

The more I think about what we have to go through to TTC, the more I realize what an absolute miracle it was that we conceived LJ back in May. She (sorry, I know we didn't know the sex of the baby yet, but we have still called "her" a "she") truly was a miracle child (I know every child is, don't get me wrong), and all I can do now is hope and pray that we are worthy enough to be granted another miracle child some day.

Anyway, it's CD1 (sorry, CD = cycle day, I don't think I explained that earlier) for me, so let the games begin...

-Em