Eat, Pray, Love: One Woman's Search for Everything Across Italy, India and Indonesia by Elizabeth Gilbert

So here is one of these books that Oprah Winfrey endorses, and I feel almost embarrassed to admit I'm reading it. Does it help that I didn't know Oprah had endorsed it until after I found it, thought it interesting, bought it, and started reading it? I sure hope so!

Anyway, so far I've only read about "Liz's" experiences in Italy. As part of the 36 "stories" about her time in Italy, in pursuit of pleasure, she recounts the downfall of her marriage and her painful divorce. She discusses her struggle with depression, self-loathing, and guilt during that time. One review (on the Barnes and Noble site via the link above) harps on her for leaving her marriage "for her own selfish purposes." Having read this portion already, I could understand how some people feel this way about her divorce. But me? I related to every word. Perhaps that makes me selfish as well. After all, I have been divorced. There are many people out there who will judge someone for getting a divorce, without knowing all of the circumstances. To many, unless physical violence was a part of the decision to leave, it is "selfish." No one else really knows what happens in a marriage between two people. Some may argue that people give up on marriages too easily these days, and I'm sure there is much truth to that statement. When is a marriage not worth trying to salvage? Only two people really know that answer--the two married people--and it is not often that both parties completely agree, either. I guess for me, having experienced a divorce, being someone who actually quite strongly opposed divorce, and, in the end, being the one who filed for divorce in my first marriage, I have a lot of mixed feelings/emotions on the topic.

No one can ever understand what it's really like to be in that marriage. It pains me that others can be judged so harshly by outsiders, or even friends or family. At the same time, I have heard accounts of failed marriages that I have certainly judged myself. How bass ackwards is that?

Anyway, time to step down off my soapbox. It's really interesting the things I relate to as I continue on into my adult life. I never expected to relate so completely with other divorcees. I never expected to commiserate with others about infertility issues. I never expected to participate in Infant/Child Loss Remembrance Day, lighting a candle for the baby we lost this year. Life has thrown me some curve balls these past several years. My life now does not resemble, one iota, what I thought it would at 28 years old, back when I was in high school or college. I wouldn't have been divorced. I'd have kids by now. I would be much thinner.  I would have made more progress on the writing goals I have set for my life.

Life doesn't often take you where you think it will. And that's okay. I'm learning to become okay with it, to surrender and give up the detailed plan in my head.

I've gotten off track here. See all the topics this non-fiction book has stirred up within me? For me, that already makes the book a success. I hope to gain some more insights into finding balance and happiness in life, in spite of the curve balls thrown my way, as I continue reading.

-Em

P.S. The Amazon reviews of this book are a bit more complimentary, and the informative blurbs offer a bit more detail about the book itself (since I didn't actually do much of a synopsis of it, after all).