I don't have anything very exciting to write about this morning, but I feel compelled to take a break from working to organize a few thoughts and catch everyone up on what's been going on with us.

First, we found out this weekend that the cycle discussed here and here was unsuccessful. The incessant rain this weekend felt like an appropriate depiction of the sadness we felt. We spent a lot of time cuddling and crying and truly letting ourselves feel the pain, which although it may sound pretty depressing, was probably good for us. For those of you wondering, "Wow, another failed attempt at conceiving. How long are these two going to keep at this?"-- I don't have an answer for you. For now, we will probably try two more cycles before my doctor will need to force my body to take a break from all of the fertility drugs. If we aren't successful by then, we will need to re-evaluate our situation at that time, the same as we have been doing these past few years as we've reached other milestones. We appreciate everyone's thoughts and prayers as we continue to work through this difficult time. That you are all out there rooting for us and wishing us well means more than you'll ever know.

In other news, I am now past the half-way point in my second semester of teaching two university-level classes: business writing and technical writing. I learned a lot last semester that I've been trying to immediately apply this semester, and I'm learning a whole slew of new lessons this semester as well. Basically, I'm pretty convinced that I'm learning more than the students are at this point. I have joined two other professors this semester to work on a translation project between the U.S. and another university in Italy. Although the final outcome has yet to be seen, I am hoping that my technical writing students will gain some experience in working within an international team, as such skills are so integral in today's workplace, and also with preparing instructional texts for the translation process (definitely not as easy a task as you'd think).

In my other job, I'm keeping very busy as well (thank goodness). As with most other people right now, I am worried about my job. K-12 educational funding in our state has been recently cut, and we are still waiting to see how it will impact my regional educational services organization. I am still loving the variety of projects I get to work on, the creative writing I get to do, and seeing how the publications we produce make a difference in the school districts and community, so for now I will just continue to be thankful for the job I have and hope that I'll be able to keep it.

Last night, we went out to dinner with a colleague of Drew's who is visiting from Germany. We had a great time at the Japanese steakhouse talking about the differences between languages, dialects, and cultures. We haven't mentioned the possibility much to people up until this point, but ever since Drew spent time in Germany and France last fall for work, we've been discussing the possibility of someday becoming ex-pats. Of course, right now wouldn't be a great time for it to happen. With owning a house, three cars, two dogs, and me being on so much medication to control my PCOS, we are not exactly in a flexible enough state to pick up and move overseas. But, it is exciting to discuss the possibility. And, if adding to our family does not work out the way we'd like it to, the five bedroom house with the big yard starts to seem a little unnecessary to keep. Drew's boss has told him that if he ever gets serious about the prospect, just let him know. I think the opportunity might be there, if we find ourselves in the position that we can take it.

Finally, my dear husband generously bought me a new toy this past weekend. I have been "following" this electronic reading device since it was introduced in 2007. At first, I had mixed feelings about it. As an avid reader and someone who has always been emotionally attached to the physicality of books, the device, at first, seemed like "the beginning of the end." Now, however, my feelings have changed slightly, though I must admit that a small part of me feels like a traitor who has joined the "dark side." "What will become of the publishing industry and libraries if I support the development of these devices by purchasing one?" I used to think. But, as with anything else, if you can't resist change, you must embrace it. So, I guess I am choosing to embrace it now, as we have seen the "writing on the wall" for publishing of late with the consolidation and closings of so many newspapers and other media outlets who are also going "paperless."

Also, when we calculate out how much we'd spent to buy additional bookshelves (ours are currently beyond capacity), as well as how much I spend on my Barnes & Noble membership and books each year, the numbers spoke for themselves. Once the device pays for itself, we can also feel good about the fact that we'll be killing fewer trees. And, the "techie" features such as text-to-speech, bookmarks/annotations, a search function, and a dictionary look-up aren't half-bad, either. I'm excited to give it a try, though I know I probably wouldn't have bought it for myself. (So, thanks, sweetie. )

Have a great week,
Em

It may not surprise you to hear that I've been feeling rather "ho-hum"--even Scrooge-ish, at times--about Christmas this year. This month marks our 3rd Wedding Anniversary, which Drew and I are extremely proud of and excited about, but it also marks our 3rd anniversary of trying to start a family, which lends a melancholy tinge to the entire event.

Earlier this month, while I was still miscarrying our second child, I had a brief moment of holiday spirit, thinking that if I surrounded myself with glowing, twinkly lights and the cozy beauty of a home decorated for the holidays, my spirits would lift--would cast aside our troubles and yet another year of disappointment and loss.

The moment didn't last long, however, and I soon just felt overwhelmed by my to-do list of finishing up my first semester of university teaching and keeping my head above water at Work #1. Since that brief moment of insanity, I have been slow and unenthusiastic about finishing my Christmas shopping, cards, etc. Usually, I listen to Christmas music--Diana Krall, Frank Sinatra, Michael Buble, James Taylor. This year, my CDs have sat in a pile, gathering dust.

This morning, on the very slow and slick drive to work after a two-hour delay, I found myself scanning the radio stations. For some reason, I stopped on the local station that has played Christmas music 24/7 since some insanely early date in November. I recognized James' voice, and I stopped to listen.

Though there are many different versions of the song 'Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas', I must admit that James Taylor's version is my absolute favorite (that's saying a lot, since I love Judy Garland's 'Meet Me in St. Louis' version, as well as Sinatra's). His interpretation is decidedly more melancholy than other versions, and perhaps that's why it caught my ear this morning.

Here is a portion of the lyrics and a video of him performing the song:

Christmas future is far away, Christmas past is past.
Christmas present is here today bringing joy that may last.

Have yourself a merry little Christmas, may your heart be light.
In a year our troubles will be out of sight.

From now on, have yourself a merry little Christmas, make the yuletide gay.
In a year our troubles will be miles away.

Here we are as in olden days, happy golden days of yore.
Precious friends who are dear to us gather near to us once more.

I know that in a year we all will be together, if the Fates allow.
Until then, we'll just have to muddle through somehow.
And have ourselves a merry little Christmas now.

Cause everybody knows... (etc.)

My wish for all of you this Christmas is that you can appreciate the now and the little joys tucked in among the news of friends and family losing jobs, of losing loved ones, of continuing to struggle, when it certainly feels like you've struggled more than your fair share lately.

As for us, our Christmas will be little, modest. We'll open the smallish presents we've decided to do this year, stuffed in the two lone stockings that hang, waiting so patiently for a third to join. We'll huddle close together, under the covers, trying to keep each other warm, trying to shelter one another from what life has thrown our way...trying to focus on on the little reminders of joy and hope, when they pop up, and pray for gracious blessings for us all in the New Year.

Happy Holidays, Everyone.

-Em and Drew

We got quite a bit of lake-effect snow yesterday.

Most of the leaves already had dropped (and luckily Drew got the majority of them up before the snow began on Sunday), but here are a couple that are still hangin' on...

(More pictures on Flickr.)

-Em

The countertops are done! Check out the 'Recent Photos' on the left to see the finished product. We are both pleased with how they turned out; however, the need to replace our kitchen appliances and flooring in the kitchen/dining area has now been made that much more evident.  Oh well, one thing at a time, right?

I have to say, I was a little nervous about the dark pattern I picked out, but seeing it finished, up against the oak cabinets with black hardware, makes me feel like I definitely made the right pick!

Drew has been a busy bee this week with demolition of the old countertops; drywall patching, sanding, and painting where the old backsplash used to be; then installing the new sink and faucet today after the installation was complete. He's awesome, basically.

-Em

When we first looked at this house, I remember saying to Drew, "One of the first things I would want to change are these ugly, off-white, damaged, and stained countertops." It's been more than three years since then, and they're finally, finally going! Woo hoo!

Drew has been working on most of the demolition today (we opted to do this part ourselves to save money), and the new countertops are supposed to be installed on Wednesday. We will be without the use of our kitchen for a few days, but I think it'll all be worth it. We need to go pick out our new sink and faucet in the next couple of days as well.

Check out the 'Recent Photos' on the left for a few demolition pics and a preview of what the countertops will look like. I'll post more photos of the finished product later this week.

--

In other news, we traveled down to Earlville yesterday for Barry and Kristi's wedding reception. It was a lot of fun, and we got to see some friends we haven't seen for quite sometime (Hi Ryan and Brooke! Aaron and Kelli!). Earlier, before the reception, I enjoyed some much-needed girl time with Kate, Aubrey, and Michele while Drew went golfing (and, ahem, bar-hopping) with Collin, Darrell, and Brent. It was great spending time with the girls, and I know for a fact that Drew enjoyed himself, too. Miss you guys already!

-Em