...from vacation. Actually, we have been for a few days, but my goodness, I have been trying to avoid the computer like the plague. After being completely away from it for a few days, I had NO desire whatsoever to re-connect. We are back at work this week, and the motivation still hasn't seemed to kick in (I'll speak for myself...Drew's seems fine, as he's been working long hours since we returned and will continue to do so through September). Hey, so...it's August, did you know? The college classes I'm teaching this fall start at the end of the month....eep! I'm nervous...and still have a lot to do to prepare...so just a heads up that posting 'round here will continue to be light.

But enough of the jumbled mess currently running through my mind. We went on vacation last week! That is a more interesting topic. We drove up to the U.P. and spent a few days in Houghton. While we were there, we had some good family time with my parents, brother Phil and his girlfriend Abbi, and sister Becky and her husband Justin, out at the Kuiper's beach on Misery Bay (I swam in Lake Superior for the first time in, probably, eight or nine years!); visited McClain State park (where my parents were camping) and ate some yummy campfire-cooked food and learned to play Rook; bummed around downtown Houghton and bought Columbia jackets for 50% off at Surplus Outlet (score!); ate creamy onion au gratin soup at the Library; ate tostada and garlic/broccoli/chicken pizza at Ambassador; visited my alma mater's campus...the list goes on. We had planned to do some Copper Country Cruisin' on our last day, but we were rained out.

I posted a new photo album of pictures from the Yoop as well as a few of the nieces and nephew at the family wedding (Drew's side) this past weekend (click on one of the 'Recent Photos' on the left).

-Em 

...and I still think about you every day. A year later...and I still miss you every day.

A year ago today, we found out we lost you. A year ago today, we said our first good-bye to our first child.

We love you, LJ. Always.

-Mama and Papa

Well, I just wrote a nice long post about this week and the visitors we had, but my browser crashed, and now I'm too grumpy to re-write the whole thing.

Here's the abridged version:

My sister Becky visited Monday - Thursday. We had some great conversations and fun hanging out. I miss having her nearby. (I didn't take any pictures with my camera while she was here, but I know she took some with her point-and-shoot. I'd like to get the same one she has...I don't tend to lug the DSLR around as often).

Rachel, Ben, and Sam visited Thursday - Saturday. I had a lot of fun with the boys, and they were so good. Sammy is an amazingly happy baby, and Ben is gregarious and hilarious. It was also great catching up with my good friend, Rachel. I miss her. (To see some pictures of the boys, click on the 'Recent Photos' on the left.)

Today, our house is quiet. It has been great having some quality time with Drew, but it is difficult coming down from the excitement of such great visitors and kids in the house. I am very thankful for the visits, though. Thank you, guys, for coming.

Now, we are looking forward to a shortened week for the holiday. Then, on Sunday (Drew's birthday), I fly out to D.C. for a public relations conference. It's too bad I have to leave on Drew's special day, but I am looking forward to the conference itself.

-Em

...to all of those wonderful mothers out there (including my own, who's the best one ever). I am constantly amazed and humbled by all you mothers do for your families. I hope that you feel truly loved and appreciated today. You deserve it.

I feel silly and even a bit inappropriate sharing this next part. This morning when I woke up, the first thing Drew said to me was "Happy Mother's Day." He saw the tears instantly begin to well up in my eyes and held me close to him in a tight bear hug while I cried. I tried to break away from him, to brush off that I'm not "technically" a mother, but he was having none of it. "I don't think LJ would agree with you on that," he said.

These days leading up to Mother's Day have been more difficult for me than I thought they'd be. After all, I do not care for a child each and every day, so how can I really, truly count myself as a member of that important club? I feel like a fraud even considering it.

Still, as I've see the sentimental Mother's Day commercials on television, an overwhelming sense of sadness and loss overtakes me. I feel like a mother. More than that...I was a mother, once, to our never-to-be-born child. No. Even that does not cover it. I am a mother, still, to our precious angel baby. Last year at this time, right before our first child had begun growing inside of me, I remember thinking, my heart filled with hope, that Mother's Day next year would be so special for us...when I'd legitimately be able to celebrate the day with my baby who, now, would be almost four months old. However, that was not to be.

Days like today are a painful reminder of the child we lost, but, somehow, at the same time, they also make me feel closer to our precious LJ. I hope it is not offensive to anyone who has a living child that we are celebrating Mother's Day in our household today. It is not to lessen the real, tangible things you do each and every day to care for your children. I admire you all more than I can say.

-Em

My best friend asked me to marry him.

I love you, Drew.

-Em